a fight or not a fight? that is the question!

so, as you would know I am dating a guy and his name is Tyler. Also, unfortunetly, I also favour a man named Jaime. Now heres the problem: 2 men, can only have 1-having troubles. On Friday there is the monthly teen dance. So excited by the way! Anyways, they are both supposedly going to be there. Not good, for now the rumour is that fists will be flying. Over me, which is flattering non the less but I am actually worried. Not only for them but for myself. I don't know what Im going to do if they are both there, Illl be stuck and confused and, right now I dont even know how Friday night is going to end up like. I mean, I am going to spend the whole time sitting, watching both of them trying to figure out which I want more. Instead of dancing and being the spotlight like usual, I just, I dont know. It is definately going to be fun, and bitchy.

Yo, yo. So i am seriously bored right now! I have hiphop class tonight and actually should be getting ready now that i think of it. Oh well. I have this huge urge to go and get some new whack clothes. Like you get some outfits that are insane and totally not matching and usualy gothic looking-haha-but once you've had them for a while their not whacked anymore. So now i really want to go and splurge for crazy. Its funny how no one else I know dresses like me and yet everyone like adores my insane style. Especially when they show leg. Not too much though cause that just makes you look way to much of a sleeze. But a little leg is a good tip for all you like me. So, anyways. Um, ooh i am so excited for ever Friday of this month-pa day, volley ball tournament and then dance, last day of school, holidays-oh ya

Most Saturdays

So, most of my Saturdays are spent watching a movie, reading and sleeping. That is how I like them. But yesturday i spent the day walking and not sleeping or reading. I had just started to wstch the second open season movie around 12:30sh when i hear the door bell ring and my father says that i have company. I head to the door to see 2 of my friends Gavin and Nick. They asked me if i would walk around, pick up my friend Emma andthen go to our townn arena with them. I had not gotten dressed and i was still in my pjs but decided i would go-after changing, doing my hair, makeup, you know the normal 'girl' stuff. Half an hour later and the three of us set off. After arriving at Emmas house, I went in side and we locked the boys out. Eventually we let them in and just spent a half hour horsing around like teenagers. She called her mom and we started walking to the arena where we spent the day watching hockey games and drinking hot choc. with fries with LOADS of salt and vinegar. It was a really fun day but now i have to catch up on my movies and sleep. Won't be too hard-haha. Catch ya later. You know you love me! Holly*

Love

Love, whats the point? Sure love leads to a sexual attraction involving in the world becoming a higher populated area. But, honestly, why feel it now?i mean there is always the possibility of one marrying there 'high school sweatheart' but how likely is that to happen? So, why, at such a younge age does one feel love? Are we just compelled to feel love? I believe the love i feel is real. At least i hope it is. At a time my love for a male was so strong that when it ended, i thought i would never love like that again-I know corny right? It hasn't even been that long and suddenly i have realised who the one my heart truly desires. Gavin Rosdale sings a song called 'Your Love Remains the Same'. That song sort of touches on this subjet. The man i am in love with was kinda like an accident-if there were such things. i was dating his cousin, who goes to my school, at the time. He was given my msn by my ex and even though it was on the internet, we hit it off. We were both dating then and so cinvinced ourselves that we were just friends. Now him and I are dating. It sucks he lives so far away. But why? Why feel love like this? Guarantee we won't get married. So why does God allow us to waste time with pointless boy/girl friends? Is it just for fun? Is it practise for the real thing? Does anyone know? Dont get me wrong, I love men and dating, the complications that come with it. One could say Im a 'maneater'-ha. Men are attracted to me. They say they love me but it is not love. Hormones maybe. We think we love. Do we though? Do we really? Do we know how it feels? If you know any answers please tell me! Why is love so hard? So confusing? Or is it love at all?

Where to Start?

hey, for a while i have wanted to have my own blog for pretty much no reason at all. i just thought like-what the heck? anyways, um about me, i have 2 cats(cookie and pidgy) and 1 dog(princess). i live with my 2 parents at the moment-unfortunetly-haha. i have 2 half sisters and one half brother from my moms first marriage and 2 half sisters from my dads first marriage. my dad also had a son named Paul but he died in March of this year. um my life is crap pretty much. alot of bad things have happened. um when i was younger (i am 13 now) my best friends older brother used to rape me all the time. right now in grade 8 i am known as the school slut because i told a girl who was my best friend last year about what happened to me and she told a bunch of guys and now the whole town knows about it and it sucks. so i have hated kate since early 2007. so she went off and told all of these people that i was a total bitch and did all this stuff to her and just all of these lies and that resulted in me getting water, orange pop, and coke spilt down my shirt all in an hour. um i dont think there is anyone in this whole town who doesnt hate me and you know what i actually find it quite amusing. um there is so much more i could say. oh um before my brother died in march i had a bad time when i was talking to people who werent there and i tried to overdose on pills, i drank nail polish remover and ate handsanitizer all because i just was soo depressed. anyways, i was put in the teen psyc word in grand river hospital in kitencher for a while. it sucked because you are basically in jail with bars on the windows, guards, your locked in and only the staff have the keys to unlock the door to get out. i mean it was awful. i think the main reason i started a blog is because i wanted people to listen and care. i tell my so called friends and the crappy thing is that they make fun of my shitty life. guys make it worse. i am big chested 'have a nice ass' and you know all that so i am constantly getting spanked and grabbed and it seems like the only reason guys go out with me is cause im "hott". no one actually likes me for who i am. i was hoping that by writing this all down maybe if someone read it, theyd care for once. anyways i have this craving to watch Open Season. ever seen it? it pretty hilarious. ok talk to you later. Holly